I've just really worked hard at being okay with who I am and also at being completely open in my life. I feel like my blog gets to reflect that. And I realized that I haven't been doing that as much lately. Maybe that is why I stopped blogging as much.
Here it goes! Honestly, I went through a kind of "depression" for a couple of weeks. Of course I wasn't really depressed! But it was as depressed as I get, which is maybe more like some people's bad days but for two weeks? I don't know! I didn't want to do anything and the things that normally make me feel passionate and excited just seemed dull and lifeless. I felt empty inside. I am usually a pretty up beat person. I really had a hard time being okay with feeling down. So in an attempt to pull myself out of it I have been making some shifts in my life lately. Not really anything spectacular or that anyone else could probably notice... But I've noticed a difference in myself.
If you don't know me super well, you will.... So here are some things I have been doing that have worked:
Serving others: Apparently the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself serving others... or something like that.... hahahah! I just know that as I serve others I stop being so inward focused and my pathetic troubles don't seem so bad. So I set out praying everyday for opportunities to serve others and that I would recognize them and act. It was hard, the first week, to look outside of myself and see those opportunities, but I was determined dang it! And it totally worked! Although there were times when a simple act of service turned out to be way more of a hassle and I may have felt a tiny bit annoyed for a minute.... hahahaha! I am glad I did them.
Gratitude: Anytime I feel sorry for myself all I have to do is think of the things I am grateful for. No matter what crap is happening in your life there is always something to be grateful. My first list of many recent lists. It's a shorty but a goody.
"And the good news is...": what's the good news? Finding the good news and finding the lessons to be learned. I am determined to learn something whenever I have something painful happen in my life. I know that if I don't learn it from that experience that I will have another opportunity to learn it later. And I choose to learn the first time!
Positive thinking and positive energy: I've just been trying to put out some positive energy by shifting my thoughts. This week my mantra just so happens to be "All is well. I let go of what goes. Divine restoration is now taking place." I have learned enough about myself to know that I have some core beliefs that are not true. When I feel rejection or whatever I have this tendency to look for ways to support these beliefs that are not serving me. So I get to be very conscious of my thoughts and the energy that I am putting out. When I think one of these negative beliefs, "what if I was not enough" or "what if I will never be enough" I get to remind myself that I am enough and I am worthy and I deserve to be with someone that values and appreciates me for the amazing woman that I am.
yikes! this is getting deep....
Being outside: spending time outside always rejuvenates me. I was going to start P90x but after one week I realized I need to be outside. I need sunlight, and I need fresh air and I need to take in the world around me. So I took my workouts outside and started running again.
Taking care of my body: With the suggestion of my dear friend, Kristina, I started making green smoothies from the Green Smoothie Diet every morning. And I'm pretty much in love... The smoothies are so good I could drink one for every meal! But I can't because I have a kid to feed! And I've been doing Yoga three times a week. I feel so great!
And an added perk, my skin seems to have cleared up. not sure if it's just the smoothies, or the positive energy, or the fact that I have let all the things that usually stress me out fall to the wayside or what... maybe it's a combination of all of the above. And since my attempted week one of P90x I have lost 8 pounds.
This post turned out to be completely different than what I intended to write tonight. So here is a lonely picture to go with this weird and very honest post. But I like it. I really like it.
Shot on Fujicolor Pro 400H. Film makes my heart sing.
I like it too. :)
ReplyDeleteI love that picture, and I loved this post. Also I'm glad you linked to your other blog because I didn't even know it existed until now, and I like to cyber-stalk you in every way possible. I'm glad you shared how you go about overcoming your "depression." I think I'm like you - never really been "depressed" but I have those days where I just feel down and even the stuff I usually love seem boring and dull (just like you said). I need to be better at serving others and focusing on gratitude. I think you're amazing; you are one of my very most favorite friends that I've met throughout my life. You're just a really sincere, honest and kind-hearted person and I love those things about you! You do deserve the BEST always! I love you!
ReplyDeleteAwe! thank you both so much!
ReplyDeleteApril, I don't really tell others about my other blog. hehe. But it can be entertaining for sure. hehehe. thank you for sweet comments. I am so blessed to call you my friend. and I love you!